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Drogs in Europe 2013

This evening’s Press Conference at Tallaght Stadium – Mick Cooke with Devid Cassidy and Stephen Quigley 

The welcome result on Monday Night against Cork was just the tonic the Drogs needed as they prepare for their journey into the great unknown.   The poor league form has been a worrry for all concerned, bad luck and the inexplicably poor form in some mastches has made the season quite different from what Drogs fans expected at the start of the season, but our Eurpean advernture is a welcome change for all concerned. Mick Cooke reported a fully fit squad, having given all his squad players 90 minutes over the last two matches. When questioned regrding the Drogs’ recent defeats, Cooke pointed out that, apart from the Rovers match all our defeats were by a single goal in the closing few minutes in matches we should have won.

The pitch has been well prepared and the setting is perfect for a great European match tomorrow night.

People often aax me…………

Sometimes I do be walkin’ down the town of a sahreda, the woman below in the market and me headin’ towards the market bar and someone’d come up to me and aax me questions…annyway I was headin’ towards me home from home last saherda week  and up comes this chap , Mooney I think his name was and he sez to me ‘ whats all this I hear about yourself and Pelle ?. Jaysus John, sez I, I sed notin’ to nobody…..annyway after a bit of 2-in and fro-in I told him the full story.

Y’see in the old days, the boys below in Brazil wasint too good at the fupall , just a few of them there below on the beach kickin’ a pig’s bladder in their bare feet, and they sez to themselves, how can we get better at this game ? At the time one of the boys was there that worked on the docks above and he sez ‘I know where we could go to learn about fupall’, it turned  out, of course that the boys below on the docks was loadin a cargo of oil cakes for the oil cake factory in drogheda and nothin’ would do the boys except to be signed on as crew for the trip to the home of fupall. Annyway after a stormy passage acrost the sea they sailed up the Boyne on saherda mornin’ and landed outside Benny’s without as much as the price of a bottle between them and who comes walkin up the quay to meet then only the hard Skinner Downey and gives the boys an invitation into Bennys on behalf of the People of Drogheda. Skinner , of course, never worked a day in his life and was a master at gettin other people to buy drink for him.

After a bit of blarney and blather he aaxes the boys ‘ why are yiz here ?. We come to learn de fupall’ they sed. Well, yiz came to the right place sez skinner , and I know the very man for yiz. And up he goes to Fair Street and inta Hoey’s Office and out comes Vincent and Skinner told him the full story and very soon the boys was trainin’ on a Tuesda and a Thursda, and workin’ below on the docks. Annyway wasn’t there a bit of a problem with the lads papers and off goes Vincent up to Merrion Square to see Charlie and it wasn’t an easy thing to fix and the boys were advised to say that their grannies came from Mayo and their papers was in the post. And , of course Vincent sez to Peader, bring them to trainin’ and look after them,, and they worked very hard on their fupall and one of them was a young lad with glasses who was always writin’ in his notebook everythin’ that was said at the trainin’. He was well built and a great prospect, but wouldint take off the glasses in case he would be able to see. Annyway this Frida mornin’ Peader brings yer man down to Eustace in West Street to get the eyes examined, and after an hour of rootin at yer man’s eye Eustace sez ‘This man has perfect eyesight.   It turned out that the boys below in Brazil thought that you needed glasses to be able to read.

Annyway the first matches the boys played in the team was at away matches so as to not raise suspicions and Peader was told to get the boys to slacken off and take it easy durin’ matches or they’d show the irish players up. An , of course , yer man with the glasses was Pele, or Joe Cooney as we called him and the boys became well known around the town, and there was nothin’ more they liked on a Saherda night than a game of bingo above in Congress Avenue and a few bottles in Joey Flynn’s on the way home. I got to know Cooney pretty well and brought him down to Hunterstown on the q.t. to get some dead ball tips from Kevin Beahan.We usedta go down to Carberrys for the rings and Kathleen called him Seosaimh and treated him with great kindness and respect.

Of course, the panic when the Customs and the Guards surrounded the house on Platin Road had to be hushed up by all and not a word got into the papers. The next mornin’ the boys got the oil cake boat back their home place, but I’m sayin’ this to you now….. one day the real story wil be told

Of course, I hadta go through the whole thing in the widda’s after the rovers game on frida (jaysus, we were poor) , and after a full discussion the commihee agreed that i shud post a note of clarification……….that the rumour that one of the brazilians stayed on and changed his name to ray keogh iscompletely false.  No player could be that mediocre, even if he tried.

Uncautionary Tale

larinseGot up t’other mornin’ feelin’ a bit worse for wear…a late session with too many jugs below in the widda’s , terrible pain in me head and was just sittin’ down to with me fag and cup of tea to study the racin’ page and in she comes with her shoppin’ and says ’move yer feet, I hafta sweep there’ …and I know she was in one of those moods……out I goes annyway and down by the flatroofs and into jemmy’s and called for a half-one and a bottle from jim just to settle meself, but it was it did no good, I felt like I was being watched ….swallied them down and into tommys and called for a large one, and lookin’ behind the counter saw this mysterious lookin’ figure.. eyein’ me from the lounge. Went out to the street in a bit of a panic, down to barney macs and looked in – no one there – ordered a pint and there was me sittin’ at the end of the bar when into the snooker room from the toilet walks yer man. I swallied down me drink real quick and out inta the fresh air….feellin’ real uneasy and almost ran own larince’s street , looking back in case I was followed….inta the larince and luckily there was no one there, had a nice pint and felt a bit better and was just comin’ out the front door and there I seen him in the alley… and me heart near dropped…out immediately to tullyallen and the morning star and had hardly taken a sup of me drink when there he was comin’ outa the lounge, he put the heart crossways an me and I left me drink there and out the door immediatley and straight down king billys glen and out the road to dolly’s …….and as I axed the barman for a half-one ..  and there was yer man sippin’ a glass of stout in the lounge and lookin’ at me with those strange penetratin’ eyes. I couldn’t stand it any more..and walked straight up to him and says.. ‘jaysus …can you not give a man a bit of peace.. who the hell are you ???…. And he says to me ..’Jaysus John , give it a rest, I’m the fuckin’ taxi man.’

mornin star